The "AFriend/Patricia" story was one of the sideshows involving the JonBenet Ramsey murder. Was the story real or a hoax or a plan that somebody from team Ramsey invented to add further confusion to an already confused investigation? We may never know the truth but what we do know is that John Ramsey wrote in his book, "Death of Innocence" that he thought this persom may be the killer of his daughter yet he never contacted the "Woman from Wisconsin" to ask her questions about the e-mail correspondence or to be concerned for her well being. The letters mysteriously stopped when the grand jury announced there was no indictment.

This web site has been created to document the detailed timeline events of the communication that occurred between several Internet posters and this person only known as "A friend of the Ramseys" and later known as "Patricia" and then "Patricia Ramsey" between April 19, 1999 and November 11, 1999 when the last E-Mail communication was received to end all connection.

Although there could have been more Internet people involved with this correspondence, the three mentioned on this web site are known under the hat names of, "Cheesy" (also known as "The woman from Wisconsin" in the book, "Death Of Innocence."), "Gsquared," and "Twoplustwo." These three maintained at least a seven months continued communication with this person. Cheesy and Gsquared's mode of communication was via e-mail whereas Twoplustwo claimed he was receiving snail mail in addition from this person.

My awareness of this "Friend/Patricia" incident came in April 1999 when I read some postings on the Boulder News Forum from the poster known as "Cheesy" and I have followed the story since then collecting and storing as much information as was available on the Internet. The documentation contained within these web pages is provided in hopes that it might help the authorities to better understand this particular incident should this incident be of any importance in the present or future of the investigation in the death of JonBenet Ramsey.

Both Cheesy and Gsquared received "Dear John" type e-mails to end the communication whereas Twoplustwo ended the communication himself long before. It is time to tell this story. Was it a hoax? Was this really Patricia Ramsey or an associate of the Ramsey Camp? If so, what was the purpose of the campaign? It emotionally drained those who became involved and left all of them in wonder of who this person was and why.

Friend/Patricia Story by ACandyRose
This is where the story started

The web address for the JonBenet Ramsey "Find a Grave" entry was located at:

http://www.findagrave.com/pictures/2745.html

The Internet posters listed below were either directly involved with the correspondence or represented some part of the sideshow issues.

The Cheesy (The woman from Wisconsin) Collection
Cheesy started her correspondence with this "A Friend Of the Ramseys" person in private although she did post messages regarding her correspondence on the Yahoo Forum and on another private forum she created on Yahoo. At one point during the summer of 1999 somewhat of a forum and poster war broke out when copies of Cheesy's e-mails were being distributed on the Internet.

Cheesy posted the following on April 19, 1999:

"Here's a little something I am working on. Found a website that shows JonBenet's grave and also John's other daughter's grave/ Under the picture it says the photo was given by a friend of the Ramsey's and there is an email address of ramsey@nym.alias.net. Alias net is obviously some kind of "hide your identity" email service. I am trying to find out more about it, but I think it comes from AOL which I do not have access to. So anyway I wrote to this address and asked WHO they are. I am waiting a reply now."

Later, it was disclosed that another Internet poster known as "BadSusie" had told Cheesy about the find a grave web site. Cheesy was sure that this person only known as "Afriend" was probably another Internet poster known under the hat of "Jameson" and Cheesy posted about this on several occasions on the Boulder News Forum as well as her home forum at Yahoo.Com. Jameson posted messages back to Cheesy saying she was not this person nor had any connection or knowledge or interest in this new project that Cheesy was posting about.

Cheesy wrote to Jim Tipton, the owner of the "www.findagrave.com" web site who confirmed with Cheesy that the photos were sent to him at the "www.findagrave.com" site on October 29, 1998 at 7:00pm MST from an e-mail address of "ramsey080690@hotmail.com" along with the e-mail address of "ramsey@nym.alias.net" and contained specific instructions on arrangement of the photo with corresponding captions.

In the book, "Death of Innocence" John and Patsy Ramsey state that they became aware that Patsys name was being used in these e-mails when a woman from Wisconsin wrote Patsy a card, expressing concern for her well-being and indicating that they had been communicating through e-mail. She said, "Your last e-mail sounded like you were very down." At first they state that they couldn't figure out the strange card, but later put two and two together and realized that someone was on the Internet anonymously posing as Patsy. They then wrote that they were able to get hold of some of the e-mails and turned these e-mails over to our investigators to try to locate the sender but found the mysterious "Patricia" was clever enough to hid their tracks by using aliases and routing the e-mails through a computer server then rerouted them to a different part of the country."

After "Death of Innocence" was released and Cheesy read what the Ramseys wrote she was angry that the Ramsey's misquoted her in the book. Cheesy then posted on the Yahoo Forum the following:

"Luckily I kept a copy of EXACTLY
by: CHEESYinWisconsin (23/F/wishing I was in Vegas) 3/25/00 11:34 pm
Msg: 78554 of 78599 what I wrote in that card I sent Patsy and I never said, as quoted in the book, "Your last email sounded like you were very down." So NOW who is not checking their facts? "

"Also Jarbo it is living proof that
by: CHEESYinWisconsin (23/F/wishing I was in Vegas) 3/26/00 12:00 am
Msg: 78571 of 78599 they DID NOT FOLLOW leads given to them. They have my name, phone number and address, they neevr followed through to find out HOW this person contacted me. For all they know, this person could have told me the name of someone they suspested. They DO SAY they think the writer may be the killer well then why not find out ALL they can about the damned letters? "

"Heidie at this point
by: CHEESYinWisconsin (46/F/BORG land) 3/26/00 1:25 am
Msg: 78596 of 78599 I wouldn't give them the time of day.
John acknowledges they got my snail mail card. They did not use the information I sent them to contact me. I sent their lawyers some information about what was happening as well as a few samples of the letters. They did not contact me. I did everything I could to help THEM with this whole FRIEND thing. I felt either it was a situation they needed to know about. they ignored me. John states that he too feels that the writer may be the killer. But does anyone pursue it? Find out all they can? No. Just like OJ, they are looking for the real killer. Carol McKinley from FOX News even tried to contact them about this FRIEND situation, they ignored her."

Cheesy later went on the Peter Boyles show on April 4, 2000 to try and set the record straight on her involvement with the "Friend/Patricia" incident and what transpired when she sent information to John Ramsey and to set the record straight on what was written in the book, "Death of Innocence" about "The woman from Wisconsin."

The "Gsquared" (Gail/Closer2/Secret/Pogey) Collection
Gsquared became involved in the beginning of May 1999 after she corresponded with Cheesy on who this person was or could have been. Gsquared's interest was obviously more into the legal stand point of obtaining whatever information she could get and have the information turned over to the authorities. Gsquared also suspected early on that the poster known as "Jameson" and/or associates as the author of the e-mails. Gsquared contacted Michael Tracy in Boulder, Colorado to assist on possible identification of the person writing the e-mails since the person claimed to be Patsy Ramsey. They were attempting also to obtain information on the anonymous e-mail server.

When Gsquared was asked about the Blue Mountain Greeting card, she responded with the following in an e-mail:

"You can give the group this message - the whole point of my sending that Blue Mountain Greeting card was to see how fast "Patricia" would pick it up. Since Blue Mt would have sent it to the same anonymizer address, I doubt they could trace it any better than we could. Remember, Patricia claimed that someone picked up her emails for her. Specifically, she said she had TWO friends helping her out with this. However, when she responded, WHOEVER responded, it was clear that she had received and read the card, then responded, in a short period of time, which seems incocnsistent with her claim that she had a friend open the emails, cal her,r ead, them, then she would respond, etc. Not impossible - but just another seeming incocnsistency. Just my opinion... Some other tidbits - Tracey asked the IS people at CU to look into a little bit. They wouldn't really do anything because of CU Policy, though. Re: The McKinley story. "Patricia" paged Carol, who traced the call. When Carol called backed "Patricia" hung up immediately. Carol then had a male co-worker call. They looked up the number doing a reverse search on the web and that's how they got to Phillip Donnell of Marietta. Donnell says the number was his OLD number and is still on the web white pages as belonging to him, and was for a home he had shared with his ex-wife. Apparently, that number belongs to someone else now. He had no idea what any of this was all about."

On January 12, 2000, Gsquared wrote to me and asked that I pass along the following information to the other posters on the forums regarding the "Patricia" letters:

"Please pass the following info to the group: At one point in all this "afriend" business, at about the time I went to Boulder in early September, Jameson made a big phone scene with Mike Tracey and said she couldn't talk to him anymore if he was going to be friends with me. So, for about three (blessed, LOL) weeks, Mike did not hear from Jams. After about three weeks, Jams couldn't stand it anymore, and called Mike. Shortly thereafter, Mike told me that someone else (whom I don't want to name as she does not wish it known that she was one of friend's pen pals) recevied an email from "afriend" wherein "afriend" said that she had recently spoken to Mike by phone. Mike had NOT talked to Patsy for many months at the time, but HAD JUST HEARD from Jams after what, for Jams, was a long absence.

Incidentally, when Jams retracted her statement on her forum that I was "Patricia" it was because Mike told her (and this is true) that he knew people had received "Patricia leters" that were sent while I was in Boulder, and in particular, some came on a day that Mike had taken kidlet and me hiking and he knew for certain that I was nowhere near a computer that day.

In October or November - I can't remember exactly when - Mike did speak to John Ramsey about the letters but he did NOT mention my name. John Ramsey was trying to find out who was pretending to be Patsy. In November, the day before Thanksgiving, someone I can't name spoke by telephone with John Ramsey and for the first time, John Ramsey was told that I was among the recipients of the "afriend" letters. John Ramsey told the person he was speaking with that he (Ramsey) knew about the letters but up until that point, he had NOT known that I was getting them and he was very surprised that *I* was among the recipients. He was also told that I had sent the letters to the FBI agent (Jeff Snow) in Boulder, who gave them to Wickman. Wickman never investigated it and never returned my calls or the calls of other people who had received the letters. John Ramsey was upset that Wickman had not looked into this.

I called the Boulder PD after that to try to talk to Wickman but had no luck. I called Jeff Snow again, who told me that the FBI had declined to investigate because they (the FBI) deemed the letters 'not credible.' Interestingly, without my asking for any other information, Snow suddenly volunteered that 'there are a lot of internet pages dedicated to JonBenet and forums and this (the whole "afriend" letters thing) is just more of the same." I asked him specifically if he was referring to Jameson/Susan Bennett of Hickory, NC and he said he couldn't elaborate.

Mike told me that the Ramseys are aware that Jameson has 'issues' but that they (the Ramseys) are charitable people and they are kind to Jams because she has always been such a stalwart defender when they really had few others supporting them. He sometimes felt that the letters had a "Patsy" quality to them - in particular, the need to reach out and communicate - but now he really thinks it was Jams all along.

Just more grist for the mill of ponderings..."

In one of the letters Gsquared received dated August 21, 1999 from this "Friend of the Ramseys" aka Patricia, she talks about the "Mystery man":

"The man I speak of frequents my daughter's grave. A few days ago, he confirmed his visits by describing specific physical surroundings. He made comments like "A rose for JonBenet; A rose for Beth." He also said he liked the new ornaments in the dogwood, describing the dove directly above her grave as his favorite. He went on to describe the long stem flowers that drape her grave horizontally this week. Gail, all those physical descriptions are currently present. He is not lying when he says he has been spending a lot of time with JonBenet."

On August 22, 1999:

"Please understand that this mysterious man must be dealt with in a most unconventional way. I know you think contacting the police is a good thing but I am here to tell you that such a move will completely destroy what I have built with him - trust. He will simply shut this account down. That will only take a matter of minutes. He will then leave the area which will> close this matter forever. Worse, he has never said that he had anything to do with this crime. There is nothing to hold him on. Furthermore, I am not certain that he is the killer"

On August 28, 1999:

"I have been speaking to a man for almost a year who is either my daughter's killer or the best thing that has ever happened to the two of us. He offers information that surpasses everything I have seen to date. He confirms his closeness to JonBenet both living and in the present. My hands are tied by my attorneys and family. I am not allowed to speak in any depth to the press at this time. That is the only reason I have and will continue to be, illusive. I must look out for the better interest of my family. As confusing as this sounds, almost a year ago, the man I speak of has contacted my family, the police, my attorneys, and Alex Hunter. His words have been silenced for some reason unknown by me. He gained access to me and I have never, nor will I ever, lose contact with him."

On August 29, 1999:

"My last friend hesitated to the bitter end until she lost the chance completely to talk to him. I felt confident that he would have actually met her at JonBenet's grave. She never seemed to think he was relevant to anything. All that mattered to her was getting a statement from a confirmed Patricia Ramsey. That was her hige mistake. She made the worse mistake. Are you aware that I am not at my Vinings home? Where do the Ms. Bennetts of the Internet say I am?"

On September 9, 1999"

"I will try to convey some of the specific things this man has said about JonBenet. You would think you were reading a letter from a man to his young lover if you were not aware that it is the words of this man for my daughter. In the beginning, I could barely find it in myself to listen to him at all. Can you imagine what it would be like to have a man you do not know, speak of your deceased child in such romantic terms? I have come to realize, however, that I must listen to him. He might either be the killer or has great insight into who the killer might be. He has contacted me via mail. I have conversed with him in this arena, and more. I have done everything short of meeting him face to face."

On November 4, 1999:

"I do not think there is anything left for me here. I am soon to leave."

The "Twoplustwo" Posting Collection
Unfortunately I was not able to obtain all the forum postings from when "Twoplustwo" was posting on the Webbsleuths Community Forum. I did, however manage to get some threads dated around July 19, 1999 and through the end of August and from what I understand "Twoplustwo" did post either some or all of the "Patricia" letters on the forum for open discussion but for some unknown reason he deleted all of them so many of his postings are shown as edited and left blank for the reader's frustration to question what was posted originally.

It is important to note that although "Twoplustwo" mentions that he is not sure if his "Patricia" is the same as Cheesy's and Gsquared's "Patricia" that they are one in the same especially after reading the Cheesy and Gsquared collection whereas this "Friend of the Ramseys" aka Patricia mentions "Twopluatwo" aka Collins on more than one occasion and not in a good light and if anything leaves the reader to create suspicion and draw the conclusion that "Twoplustwo" is not who he says he is but then again we don't really know if this "Friend of the Ramseys" aka Patricia is who she says she is either.

On December 3, 1999, I wrote to "Twoplustwo" from an e-mail address he had posted on the WebbSleuths Forum to ask if he would talk about the "Patricia" letters to me. He answered me and made the following statement:

"I have visited this site: http://www.findagrave.com/pictures/2745.html and have exchanged some mail with these people. My impression was/is I had/have encountered three separate and distinct interlocutors at that site, none of whose writing, in my humble opinion or according to my Writer ID software, resembled my "Patricia" to any appreciable extent. That e-address is ramsey@nym.alias.net. You've never attempted to contact anyone there? I'm surprised . That site could be operated by relatives of the Ramseys and that e-address could be used by them. Also, jameson could be involved with that site. I saw a letter (e-message) that Secret posted on WS while we were discussing this matter. I saw little resemblance between the style/psycholinguists of that letter and that of the letters I've been receiving by (as you put it) snail mail. Some suggested that Pam might be the author of Secret's letter. I wrote to Foster inviting him to look at the letters and render an opinion. He didn't respond. That was while the GJ was sitting. Maybe he'd be more amenable to that now. "

Twoplustwo followed that with:

" I didn't hook up with "her" on the "Find-a-Grave" site. I cannot say for certain that others have not. If it is true that they have been corresponding with someone at that site who has mentioned me as a correspondent, one has to wonder whether "she" is my mystery writer also. You have asked what triggered [prompted?] me to continue the correspondence? That question is both difficult and easy at the same time. The easy answer is that I thought I might be dealing with Patricia Ramsey. The not-so-easy answer is that "she" became a challenge for me, both in terms of extracting information and debating the various issues surrounding the tragedy and the investigation. Further, I think it's safe to say that we bonded to some extent (not an easy thing for this person to do), and, for quite some time, I actually enjoyed corresponding with "her" and looked forward to "her" letters. You have asked what was the goal of this person to continue the correspondence? BJ, that is the 64,000 dollar question. As you may recall, I gave you my impressions in my previous message. They have not changed in the interim. If you are able to figure it out, please be so kind as to enlighten me, will you. It may interest you to know that I have been known to write poetry and composed some tributary poems and other works commemorating JonBenet. These I sent, one at a time, to "Patricia".

"She" told me "she" loved the poetry and that the prose was very good and that "she" thought me a gifted writer. I have wondered whether it might have been the poetry, with JBR as the subject matter, more than anything, along with "her" praise for my writing, which kept our correspondence going as long as it did." "

"I didn't receive a "Dear John" letter from the mystery writer; I sent "her" one. I got fed up with her nonchalance and unresponsiveness; e.g., "I read your letter and I do not wish to respond." Bah! Humbug! I've never won the Presidential award for patience either. *hehe* Some of my reprimands were pretty nasty; hence, I'm surprised that she didn't suspend the correspondence early in the process. I would dearly like to know who this writer is (assuming "she" is yet alive, or was, in case "she" is no longer)."

The "Mame" Collection
Mame became involved with the "Friend/Patricia" E-mail mystery upon request of Cheesy to help find out who this person was. Mame then began her own correspondence with this anonymous person on the Internet. As of this date, Mame has declined at this time to have her personal collection of the "Friend/Patricia" letters for public viewing in her e-mail response dated January 11, 2000 regarding this matter:

" well, the "patricia" letters are a real personal "issue" with me. you may have heard that i had a several week communication with "patricia" myself. i have stayed very low key about this. fortunately, those who know of my involvement have honored my wishes to keep it quiet. the correspondence i had with "patricia" is very emotional for me. the letters became very personal...at times scary, bordering on criminal. i tried to get help from authorities when it became clear that a criminal act could be a possibility. no one cared to help. even when a major hired gun of the DA's office viewed one of my letters and called wickman personally to ask him to read what was written to me...wickman chose not to.

The "Katie80" Collection
Katie80 only had a few e-mails of communication with this "Friend/Patricia" person. Due to a hard drive crash, Katie80 lost all of her e-mails and the only two that could be found were the two she sent to me, one dated July 10, 1999 and the other dated October 1, 1999.

And those who contributed information and research

The "Amanda" contribution
(MandyArt/WebbSpyder/Webbsleuther/Amanda/Lilly)
The first time I heard about Amanda was when she sent me an e-mail on August 14, 1999 wanting access to the ACandyRose Internet Subculture Forum and whereas she stated the following:

"I believe that I have much valuable background information to add to the discussion. I live in Vinings, a suburb of Atlanta, and see the Ramseys quite often in our community."

Even though my forum was locked out of new membership at that time, I went to the WebbSleuths Community Forum to check out her postings to see who she was. She was posting then as "MandyArt" and her postings there also indicated that she knew more about the Ramsey's than the average Internet posters plus she talked about visiting JonBenet's grave in Atlanta.

By the end of September 1999 Amanda, who we now knew as the hat name of "WebbSpyder" was posting on the ACandyRose Forum and was telling a story of a mysterious stranger who was going to JonBenet's grave several times during the spring and summer of 1999.

On the forum WebbSpyder wrote:

"I will try to clarify and expound a bit about my unsettling experiences. I have gone to the site numerous times, to remember JonBenet in a personal way. The cemetery is located within my general geographical location, give or take 10-15 miles. Several times this past spring and summer, there has been a person kneeling on the top of the grave (on the flat marker covering the grave). I have not taken any photos, but have compared the photos of Paugh with the appearance of the man. Everything fits, but the man is always wearing a cap..Neatly dressed, but wearing a cap. I go there less often now, because of him, but every time I drive onto the grounds, he is there.I would estimate that I saw him over 8 times in a 6 week period. One single red rose with the thorns stripped off was lying on the gravesite after he left on 3 separate occasions"

As time went on, there were some other posters on the forums who believed that even Amanda might be the "Friend of the Ramseys" as she revealed even more information later on her close connection to the Ramsey family, the physical environment and having other family members who live in the Ramsey neighborhood. Her mystery man stories at JonBenet's grave proved more than interesting once it was revealed that this "A Friend of the Ramseys" aka Patrica also talked in her e-mail communication with Cheesy and Gsquared about her "Mystery man" who visited JonBenet's grave.

On December 28, 1999, Amanda and another Internet poster known as "MorrisBJ" visited JonBenet's grave. When MorrisBJ returned she logged onto the forums to tell us a story:

"Amanda left another white teddy bear. There was a piece of chocolate glued to the inside of a ring box left at the grave and other pieces of chocolate lying around and some in a glass jar."

Then Amanda posted on the forums with continuation of the story:

"There was a glass jar (mayo type) about half filled with what appeared to be Rollo candies,wrapped. Then, there was the jewelry box. I swear I would not have opened it except nor the various jewelry questions that have come up (her I.D. bracelet, the cross necklace, possible missing earrings, etc..). Inside the jewelry box was not JUST a piece of wrapped candy, it was a chocolate covered cherry. The kind that you can get at a minimart checkout around Christmas, wrapped. Hate the things, so I am not sure of the exact name, but you know the ones probably."

The "Ruthee" Contribution
On May 28, 1999, Ruthee developed a web site titled, "A Message from the grave," to document the very early beginnings of the "Friend/Patricia" e-mail exchange. Her personal opinion and personal analysis of the anonymous person is that "Jameson" is behind the whole project as she goes into detail on this site on what and why she is basing her opinion on.

The "Midnite3" Research
On October 26, 1999, a poster known as "Midnite3" did some research on the Internet to locate the nym.alias.net domain and owner which turned out to be "Sameer." She located a man by the name of John Perry (perry@alpha.jpunix.com) who posted a message she found on the Internet whereas he stated, "I used to run the alias.net domain but I handed it over to Sameer at one time because I was unable to administer it due to some things going on at work." Midnite3 also discovered why Cheesy thought the afriends email was going thru a university lcs.mit.edu. Midnite3 also found web sites on "A Beginner's Guide to Anonymous Posting" as well as, "Instructions on how to set up the anonymous account with "nym.alias.net."